In DARe training, Diane Poole Heller shared how watching media can impact our attachment system. We instinctively know the negative consequences of being exposed to violence too much in action-packed movies and watching the news, all of which engage our survival hyperarousal. Alternatively, this mindful practice of watching secure-inspiring media emphasizes not just observing secure attachment but noticing and taking in demonstrations of attunement, responsiveness, and enduring relational behaviors:
- Responsiveness (attunement to another’s emotional state)
- Repair after rupture (making things right after conflict)
- Emotional safety (feeling seen, soothed, and understood)
- Mutuality and regulation (both partners can calm and co-regulate)
As you watch, actively identify:
- Scenes where one character offers repair or attunement
- Moments of emotional regulation versus avoidance
- Examples of how secure connection supports growth and resilience
Movies
- Lion (2016)
- The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013)
- Boyhood (2014)
- The Secret: Dare to Dream (2020)
- Secondhand Lions (2003)
- We Live in Time (2024)
- Inside Out (2015) and Inside Out 2 (2024)
- Hope Springs (2012)
- The Vow (2012)
- Marry Me (2022)
- Gifted (2017)
- Begin Again (2013)
- About My Father (2023)
- The Ultimate Gift (2006)
- Mary Poppins (1964)
- A Dog’s Journey (2019)
- 12 Mighty Orphans (2021)
- Remember the Titans (2000)
- Ratatouille (2007)
- Onward (2020)
- Turning Red (2022)
- Coco (2017)
TV Shows
- From Scratch (2022)
- Ripped (2025-Current)
- Parenthood (2010-2015)
- Good Doctor (2017-2024)
News Platforms for Resourcing – these platforms report on kind acts, triumphs, and world records that benefit humanity (small scale and large)
- Good News Network – subscription option for Good News Instead: a 5-minute daily news report via email
- Positive.News
- Daily Good is one beautiful offering from ServiceSpace, a volunteer ecosystem
- Clips of SomeGoodNews from John Krasinski during the COVID Shutdown
- Optimist Daily
- Reasons to be Cheerful
- 1000 Awesome Things is a blog demonstrating the choice to focus on one positive thing each day
News Platforms for Fact-Based Global News will still cause hyperarousal due to reporting on tragic events around the world; however, the removal of opinion will limit the emotional swing of feeling interpersonal conflict with the writer or others who would disagree with your interpretation of the facts.
If you feel you have watched a movie, show, or play, or listened to a song that fully resonated with you as displaying secure attachment — feelings of knowing and being known and loved within the reciprocity of connection — I would love to hear your recommendations.
